The Perfection Trap: Learn how to Go for “Good Enough” and Thrive
Why is it important to talk about perfection?
Growing up, I was taught to aim for perfection. From society, to school, to family, there was always this drive to have it all lined up: the perfect grades, the perfect career, the spotless home, the well-behaved kids, the endless list of perfects.
Even into adulthood, it feels like the pressure is always there to do everything, and do it flawlessly—to keep up with a picture of perfection that, if I’m honest, doesn’t even feel like mine. And I know I’m not alone in this. We all feel it—the expectation to be a stellar parent, a reliable friend, a dedicated community member, the best at our jobs, while taking perfect care of ourselves. And if that sounds exhausting, it’s because it is. Let’s take a look at why trying to be “perfect” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Keep reading to bust some myths about perfection, uncover its pitfalls, and discover what you should be aiming for instead.
First of all, Perfection is a Myth, and here’s Why. Unpopular opinion: perfection doesn’t actually exist. We may think we know what it means, but ask ten people to define it, and you’ll get ten different answers. Your idea of the “perfect” home or career will look different than mine, and what’s more, our ideals are bound to evolve just as we do. So, if we're all chasing a notion that’s not only subjective but constantly shifting, is it any wonder we often feel drained? Pouring your energy—and risking your mental health—for a perfection that might not resonate with anyone else—not even with you in a few months, is that really worth it? Instead, why not aim for what feels ‘good enough’ for you, right here, right now? Trust me, it’s probably more than enough.
Perfection is only “real” in the most limited cases and scenarios. Maybe you’re thinking, “There are times when perfection is possible.” Sure, there are moments when the stars align and perfection seems within reach: in controlled scenarios, like math exams or spelling bees, where there’s only one right answer. But even then, is it worth it?
Imagine that Math test:
If you ace it by pulling three all-nighters and running on caffeine alone, can you really call that “perfect”? A 90% is a great score, that if you earned with a decent night’s sleep, and a bit of enjoyment along the way, could actually be a better win overall. So next time you’re tempted to go all-in for perfection, remember that an 80% or 90% that preserves your sanity and health might be the real win in most life situations.
Here’s a perfection-related problem: Perfection too often steals the joy from Success. Have you ever worked incredibly hard on something, nailed a project, or achieved something great… and then focused on the one tiny thing that went wrong? Going back to that math exam: it’s like getting a 9.5 out of 10 and obsessing over the missing 0.5 instead of celebrating the 9.5 that is probably one of the best scores of the class anyway. If you can shift your focus from what’s “missing” or what “went wrong” to what you’ve actually accomplished, you’ll find yourself enjoying and appreciating the journey, mistakes and all. Because mistakes aren’t just inevitable; they are invaluable lesson-teachers. So if you spend more time celebrating your wins, however “imperfect”; if you allow yourself some time to reflect on what you did well too, you’ll find more joy and fulfillment—now that’s a true win!
And not only success, the Perfection Trap can also ruin Relationships. Expecting others to meet our ideas of “perfect,” will bring frustration, disappointment, and, let’s face it, can be pretty annoying. If you’re constantly wishing for quieter kids, more thoughtful friends, or parents who understand you perfectly, you’re setting them (and yourself) up to fail. We’re all human; wonderfully imperfect. Accepting and valuing the strengths and quirks of others, rather than forcing them into an unrealistic mold, enriches our lives and deepens our relationships. Instead of expecting “perfection” from others, let’s focus on building boundaries around the things that genuinely matter to us, and enjoy from there all the goodness they have to offer.
Which vessel is more “perfect”? Which one do you find more beautiful or maybe more interesting?
There's a unique beauty and charm in imperfection. It reminds me of the ancient Japanese art of Kintsugi. In this exquisite practice, broken pottery is mended with lacquer infused with gold, silver, or platinum, highlighting rather than hiding its scars. Kintsugi teaches us not just to accept our flaws but to embrace and celebrate them. It's a powerful reminder that perfection isn't necessary, and pretending to be flawless isn't the goal. Instead, Kintsugi shows us that our breaks and repairs can lead to something even more unique and beautiful—proving that sometimes, the most resilient and stunning creations arise from embracing our imperfections.
Finally, the takeaway: strive to be your best, however imperfect that is. Because yes, we all want to be our best, but being our best and being perfect are two very different things. Perfection is often a good friend of anxiety and, most of the time, the enemy of progress—keeping us stuck in a cycle of “never good enough” and playing against our goals and happiness. So instead of going for that elusive 100% that we can’t even agree on, aim for a solid 85%. Give yourself the space to grow, to enjoy the process, and to reflect on your journey with pride, not regret.
So if you find yourself obsessing over perfection, zoom out a little and take in the bigger picture. Usually, you’ll see that the “good enough” version is actually quite extraordinary. I encourage you to pause, take a deep breath, and embrace the fact that most amazing things in life aren’t perfect—they’re just plain amazing.
Got any perfection traps you’re ready to let go of? Drop a comment below, share your thoughts, and let’s keep the conversation going. And if you’re ready for more insights and tips that bring clarity and calm to your life, subscribe below and stay tuned! You’ll also find me on Instagram as @martafores_coach and Facebook as Marta Forés. See you soon!
